May 2018

137 – Worthy of Your Potential

  “Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. Therefore, give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent actions and determine to pay the price of a worthy goal. The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. Remain steadfast…and one day you will build something that endures: something worthy of your potential.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: One of most important habits to cultivate is a strong work ethic. Time and dedicated effort make it more fulfilling. There’s a saying: “How you do one thing is how you do everything.” Often, trying to take shortcuts, we’re...

136 – The Scent of a Good Man

  “The honest and good man ought to be exactly like a man who smells strong, so that the bystander, as soon as he comes near him, must smell him whether he chooses or not.” ― Marcus Aurelius Show Notes: This quote cracked me up. And even though Marcus Aurelius was the Emperor of Rome, I like that fact that he had a sense of humor. His example is a potent reminder that we shouldn’t have to tell people how good we are, they should just notice. Because if someone has to tell people how good a person they are,...

135 – No Easy Thing

  “You must know that it is no easy thing for a principle to become a man’s own, unless each day he maintain it and hear it maintained, as well as work it out in life.” – Epictetus Show Notes: How often do we hear something, think that we understand it, but yet it still takes us quite a while to make it a part of our daily life? Change is not easy. Studies show that it takes 3-6 weeks for a habit to become ingrained, depending on the complexity of the habit. It also depends on if you are...

134 – A Wise Man

  “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ” ― Epictetus Show Notes: If you were to sit down and write a list of all the things that you want in your life, what would be on that list? Maybe a new house, a new car, new clothes? Would the things that you already have be on the list of things you want? One of the core tenets of Stoicism being grateful for the things that we already have. Because if you can want...

133 – A Momentary Loss of Attention

  “Very little is needed for everything to be upset and ruined, only a slight lapse in reason. it’s much easier for a mariner to wreck his ship than it is for him to keep it sailing safely; all he has to do is head a little more upwind and disaster is instantaneous. In fact, he does not have to do anything: a momentary loss of attention will produce the same result. It’s much the same in our case. If you doze off, all your progress up to that point will be negated. To keep a sharp eye on your...

132 – Anything Can Happen

  “How ridiculous and unrealistic is the man who is astonished at anything that happens in life.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations Book 12 Show Notes: – How often do we think that something in life shouldn’t happen to us?– As if we are somehow immune to the things that happen to anyone else in life.– How often do we think that we are owed something?– As if we are somehow privileged above others, that we deserve something– We may think it’s unfair when something we worked hard for fails to materialize.– We may think it’s unfair that someone we love...

131 – Say What You Mean

  “First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: – Have you ever been around someone that uses words they don’t understand?– How many times have you said something, then had to say, “Well, what I really meant was….”?– What if we took time to make sure that we were saying what we really meant?– How many arguments could be cut short if we stopped, thought about what we wanted and what we were trying to convey, and clearly expressed what we really meant or felt?– How many flame wars on facebook could...

130 – Suffering Before It’s Time

  “He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary.” ― Seneca Show Notes: How often have you stressed over something or worried yourself sick, only to have the scenario you were so worried about never happen? When you worry about something, and you let your imagination run with something, then you suffer many times before you even get to the event that might happen. Unless you can know the future, worrying about something is inventing problems that may never happen. And that kind of suffering is something that we can all probably do without. I’ve talked about...

129 – Opinions and Perspective

  “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” ― Marcus Aurelius Show Notes: – So many things in our lives that we experience and accept to be “true” is simply a matter of perception.– Often we make the mistake of thinking that just because we see or hear something that because we experienced it, it must be what reality is.– That the way the we experience the world is the way the world really is.– But the Stoics remind us that everything in our experience is simply our perception...

128 – Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows?

    “Man is affected, not by events, but by the view he takes of them.” — Epictetus Show Notes: • Human beings are creatures that love good stories. Stories are the things that we use to make sense of the things in the world.• Myths, such as the Greek and Roman or even Norse gods were used to explain why things happen in the world.• Human beings like to give meaning to the things in their lives.• It’s part of what makes us human. We give meaning to the expressions on other peoples faces. We give meanings to the...

127 – Laugh in The Face Of Evil

  “If evil be said of thee, and if it be true, correct thyself; if it be a lie, laugh at it.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: When I read this quote the first thing that came to mind was “I laugh in the face of evil!” 🙂 How often do we get upset at what others say about us? How often do we let what others say about define who we are? Why get upset about their opinion, esp if it’s a lie? Remember, as Stoics we need to open to correction, because what we believe and how we see...

126 – Admonition

“To admonish is better than to reproach for admonition is mild and friendly, but reproach is harsh and insulting; and admonition corrects those who are doing wrong, but reproach only convicts them.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: Stoics believe that we can only control ourselves. But also believe that we are here to help others. As a Parent I’ve tried to be good about correcting there actions, but not make them feel like they’re a person because the make mistakes. I was often told I was bad person for my mistakes. My partner is great about giving constructive feedback Often out...

125 – Little By Little

“Well-being is attained little by little, and nevertheless is no little thing itself.” ― Zeno of Citium Show Notes: • Zeno of Citium was the original founder of the Stoic school of philosophy. • Not much of his writing survived, which is why he is not quoted very often when it comes to Stoic philosophy. • But I really like this quote as it talks about the importances of small habits to help us attain our well being and inner peace. • Working on things daily like recognizing what we can and can’t control, recognizing how our opinions on things...

124 – Stuff

“Until we have begun to go without them, we fail to realize how unnecessary many things are. We’ve been using them not because we needed them but because we had them.” ― Seneca Transcript: Hello friends, welcome to the Stoic Coffee Break. Today’s episode…Stuff “Until we have begun to go without them, we fail to realize how unnecessary many things are. We’ve been using them not because we needed them but because we had them.” ― Seneca One of my favorite George Carlin routines is where he talks about stuff and he talks about how we work at our jobs...

123 – A Different Person

“If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.” ― Seneca Show Notes: • How often do we wish the world would change for us? • How often do we think that we can run from our troubles? • Maybe we work at a place where we feel like if our coworkers or our boss would just get their shit together then we’d be happy with our jobs. • Maybe we’re in a relationship where we feel like if the other...

122 – Contagious Thoughts

“Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: – It’s important to be careful about the ideas we entertain.– Because the ideas we hold determine who we are– How we show up in the world– How we treat others– Let’s take money for example.– If you hang around people that think that money is the measure of a person, you will treat people differently than someone that doesn’t.– If think that that people who are poor are lazy and deserve what they...

121 – Anger If Not Restrained…

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.” ― Seneca Show Notes • Today’s topic is one that is a bit personal to me. It’s something that I struggle with at times. • I’ll get upset about something, and because I let anger get the best of me, I make the situation far worse than the event that I got angry about in the first place. • And getting angry also causes me to ruin my inner peace. We make myself unhappy by not dealing with anger in a constructive way. I...

120 – Are You Lucky?

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” ― Seneca Show Notes: – Are you a lucky person?– The Stoics understood that most things in life are out of our control.– The reason that they stress that ideas so much, that we try so hard to control things around us.– Trying to control things outside yourself causes yourself and others a lot of suffering.– Other people, events, and circumstances are certainly outside of our control.– So much of our life is simply up to chance.– The people we meet and become friends with and fall in love with.– The jobs...

119 – Who is Your Master?

“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: • Stoics believed strongly that we are all in control of our own emotions • One of the strongest emotions we have to deal with is anger • From an evolutionary standpoint it seems to makes sense. We feel threatened and we respond in a way that we think will deal with the threat. • But the thing is, fear is usually the response to a physical threat. Anger is usually response from...

118 – Contentment and Desire

  “True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” ― Seneca Show Notes: – Does Seneca mean that we shouldn’t think about the future and strive for anything? Seneca himself was a wealthy merchant, which means that...

117 – Do Good of Your Own Accord

  “Even as the Sun does not wait for prayers and incantations to rise, but shines forth and is welcomed by all: so should you not wait for clapping of hands and shouts and praise to do your duty; nay, do good of your own accord, and you will be loved like the Sun.” ― Epictetus Transcript One of the ideas that is common in a lot of religions is the idea of doing good works without the fanfare of other people. That we should do things because they are the right things to do, not because everyone will see...

116 – A Good Tale

  “As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.” ― Seneca Transcript We live in a time where the average lifespan is almost double what it was 200 years ago. Advances in medicine, sanitation, and agriculture have made it possible for more people to live longer. And in many other ways, the physical and external parts of life are better. It’s certainly much easier than it was 200 years ago. But as we work on increasing our lifespans, are we working on increasing the quality of our lives? Are we...

115 – No Opinion

  “You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can’t control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.” ― Marcus Aurelius Have you ever considered the possibility that you don’t need to have an opinion about something? That you don’t need to pass judgment on everything? Before you spend your time worrying about something, what if you took the time to decide if it was worth having an opinion about? There are so many things in...

114 – Find Your Tribe

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” — Epictetus Transcript Have you found your tribe? Have you found that group of people that are your “chosen” family, who just make you feel good? Where you feel like you are accepted and understood? Where you don’t feel like you have to be on your guard? You can make mistakes. When you find your tribe, you thrive. It took me years to find my tribe. And the reason that I knew it was my tribe was that I felt like I could just...

113 – Plenty To Laugh At

  “He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.” ― Epictetus Transcript One of the most important things in life is that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Remember, Stoics keep in the forefront of their minds the knowledge that one day they too will die, and when you look at life through that lens, you learn to give things their appropriate weight. Is that thing that you are stressing about going to be of importance in 10 years? 100 years? 1000? 10,000? We talk a lot about how you can’t control the opinions of others and...