contentment – Stoic Coffee

134 – A Wise Man

May 22, 2018 by Erick

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ”

― Epictetus

Show Notes:

If you were to sit down and write a list of all the things that you want in your life, what would be on that list?
Maybe a new house, a new car, new clothes?
Would the things that you already have be on the list of things you want?
One of the core tenets of Stoicism being grateful for the things that we already have.
Because if you can want what you already have, you’ve already found a way to bump up your happiness.
One of the facets of modern day marketing is that if there is not a natural market for what you are selling, then they work to create demand for products.
Marketing works hard to make you feel like you are missing out, then offer you the solution to fix whatever ails you.
That if we only we had the newest, shiniest, new thing, then we could feel happy.
And it’s not to say that all marketing is bad. Marketing also lets us know about things that we may be truly interested in.
And it’s not always easy when there are messages email, ads, and tv that try to persuade us that we are missing out and that the key to fulfillment is just a credit card transaction away.
And then when you throw social media on top of our lives, we start to compare our lives to other people’s highlight reel.
And soon we can find ourselves perpetually unhappy with wanting things that we don’t need.
I know that I’ve fallen for this.
At times in my life when I’ve gone shopping because I’m unhappy or bored.
The things that I’m grateful for?
My partner and the great relationship that we have.
My kids and the good people that they are, and the amazing people they’re becoming.
And that we’re all pretty healthy.
For my awesome friends that make up my tribe.
That I have a comfortable home and a good job to take care of those that I love.
Taking those moments to appreciate what you already have, and to think to yourself about how fortunate you are, is a cheap way to brighten your day.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”

― Seneca

Show Notes:

– Does Seneca mean that we shouldn’t think about the future and strive for anything? Seneca himself was a wealthy merchant, which means that he did have to think about the future.
– Contentment with what we have, and not desiring what we don’t.
– Be grateful for what we have. Not being jealous of what someone else has.
– Contentment of the physical things you already have.
– If you desire what you already have, then you can be happy right now.
– It’s those moments when I look around and appreciate what I have that help remind me that life is good.
– How can we apply this to striving?
– What I think that he means is finding that space where you focus on the work and not the end product.
– You focus on the composition, not desiring the end song. Enjoy creating the painting more than desiring the painting.
– If you’re building a company, enjoy the work, more than having the success.
– Each of these are also things which you can control.
– By enjoying the moment, focusing and enjoying what you are doing, doing good work, making the best choices you can, being the best person you can be, the future will work itself out.
– If something works out, great. If it doesn’t, great.
– Learning to be content with and desiring what you already have is the easiest way to happiness because you already have it.