126 – Admonition

https://play.radiopublic.com/stoic-coffee-break-691nwp/ep/s1!4b7fd15b693b562145fe8be4aff4c2c141df4f6c “To admonish is better than to reproach for admonition is mild and friendly, but reproach is harsh and insulting; and admonition corrects those who are doing wrong, but reproach only convicts them.” ― Epictetus

Show Notes:

  • Stoics believe that we can only control ourselves.

  • But also believe that we are here to help others.

  • As a Parent I’ve tried to be good about correcting there actions, but not make them feel like they’re a person because the make mistakes.

  • I was often told I was bad person for my mistakes.

  • My partner is great about giving constructive feedback

  • Often out with friends I’d dominate the conversation. She’d ask me on the way home if I noticed glazed eyes and lack of conversation on their part.

  • She’d help point out these things so that I could get the results I wanted, which was to have engaging and fun conversations with my friends

  • Non-threatening, just matter of fact was really helpful, and helped me to trust the feedback

  • When we think we need correct someone, the first thing we should do is we should ask if they want to hear opinion, if they want to change.

  • Respect the wish if they say no.

  • Second is have a dialog by asking questions, don’t preach.

  • Last keep our own judgements out of the conversation, otherwise the person will probably get pretty defensive.

  • Nobody likes to feel judged.

  • Most people want to be their best.

  • Learning how to give and take constructive nonjudgmental feedback is a great skill that we all can benefit from.
    Photo by Nigel Tadyanehondo on Unsplash

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