“To admonish is better than to reproach for admonition is mild and friendly, but reproach is harsh and insulting; and admonition corrects those who are doing wrong, but reproach only convicts them.”
― Epictetus
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Stoics believe that we can only control ourselves.
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But also believe that we are here to help others.
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As a Parent I’ve tried to be good about correcting there actions, but not make them feel like they’re a person because the make mistakes.
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I was often told I was bad person for my mistakes.
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My partner is great about giving constructive feedback
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Often out with friends I’d dominate the conversation. She’d ask me on the way home if I noticed glazed eyes and lack of conversation on their part.
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She’d help point out these things so that I could get the results I wanted, which was to have engaging and fun conversations with my friends
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Non-threatening, just matter of fact was really helpful, and helped me to trust the feedback
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When we think we need correct someone, the first thing we should do is we should ask if they want to hear opinion, if they want to change.
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Respect the wish if they say no.
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Second is have a dialog by asking questions, don’t preach.
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Last keep our own judgements out of the conversation, otherwise the person will probably get pretty defensive.
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Nobody likes to feel judged.
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Most people want to be their best.
- Learning how to give and take constructive nonjudgmental feedback is a great skill that we all can benefit from.
Photo by Nigel Tadyanehondo on Unsplash